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Yer actual serious entry! - Home of the terminally single
pendlemac
pendlemac
Yer actual serious entry!
Ok, I've just dumped the following on afp :-
CCA writes
>Andrew Irish wrote:
>> People are hiding in bunkers because 'V' day is approaching?
>
>That'd be it. Lots of us in here, aren't there?

Yeah well, some of us are wandering around out in the open because Feb
14th and Feb 29th are the only days we feel comfortable asking someone
we would like to be closer to emotionally if we _can_ get to be closer
to them!

BTW, commercial and media hype of the day has nothing to do with this.


I thought I'd just explain further on here ( which may be copied to afp if enough people on there want an explanation )

This isn't logical or sensible, it's just how my mind works.

I'm very scared of asking women for dates because, of course, she'll be really annoyed with me for asking.

However, Feb 14th and Feb 29th are known to be days for romance, therefore there is less chance of her being annoyed if I ask that day.

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful

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(Deleted comment)
pendlemac From: pendlemac Date: February 12th, 2005 03:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Serious question.

Is that something you've always felt or has it built up since the commercial side of it went OTT?
(Deleted comment)
martinoh From: martinoh Date: February 12th, 2005 04:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I can see where you're coming from, though my own observations have tended to suggest that at least some groundwork is advisable beforehand - the overtly romantic associations with the 14th (not to mention the traditions of marital proposal on the 29th) can make an unexpected overture seem - a little too invested - if there's no prior warning.
xkylet From: xkylet Date: February 12th, 2005 05:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
What has 29 Feb got to do with anything?

Personally I have never asked a girl out, but things have just happened...
hippo22 From: hippo22 Date: February 13th, 2005 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Your argument is a complete non sequitur IMHO. If you like someone, even just as a friend, why pick a particular day or days to say so. If you'd like to get to know someone better, just ask them if they'd like to meet for a coffee or a drink and a chat ?? More sophisticated 'dates' may or may not arise from this.

If they don't, move on *shrug*
martinoh From: martinoh Date: February 13th, 2005 06:05 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm in substantial agreement with your first paragraph, but don't accept that just moving on from a rejection, is always straightforward - it depends on the people involved (and I've seen some horror stories played out, particularly in the workplace). For this reason, the perceived consequences of asking someone out and being rejected can be fairly serious and *anything* that mitigates risk is therefore a good thing. If one is worried about harming an existing friendship/working relationship/other association or of being ridiculed or pitied for making a move, then irrespective of whether the fears are valid, the perceived risk is high and may outweigh the potential reward. The question is whether one can reduce either the odds or the consequences of rejection.

My own feeling is that in most cases one should be seen to be casual in any initial contact and build trust/intimacy from there; in many (though admittedly not all) cases people react better to a sense of balance in a relationship and the feeling that one party is already emotionally committed before the other has any real investment rarely leads to a comfortable situation.

That said, my own history doesn't give me much authority as a commentator on what it takes to establish a successful relationship...
maryrcrumpton From: maryrcrumpton Date: February 14th, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think it's good to ask then, and good to ask other times. And it will probably be positively recieved.

I remember well, and fondly, an item you sent me a couple of years ago, and that was well received by me *hugs*.

Mary x
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